These cold days make my knees start to shake, because I know that winter’s coming, and I can’t ever catch a break. It’s like I can’t live past the memories of the things that happened to a younger me. And as they pile up, I’m losing sleep, I’m losing touch. I just want the past to stay still and for me to move on. And for the longest time I wanted problems I could fix just to overcome them because I needed a win. But even a premeditated victory is asking way too much of my sanity. And I dug a grave when I was feeling weak but revisited that hole and filled it with concrete because I’m not on the ground quite yet. I’ve got high hopes for the life that I live. I write my name in the wet cement, saying thank you for the hope, but I’m much better where I am. We all know I’m getting through this year. And it’s everything that makes me feel weak, like my lack of self-esteem, or the reminder of mistakes I’ve made. But I’m playing music, and I have no doubt that all I want’s to make a life of letting my emotions out. I could take my car and drive it off a bridge, and the only thing that’s been stopping me is the slightest will to live. I’d rather stay asleep then live in regret. I’d rather remember all my flaws then ever have the chance to forget that I dug a grave, when I was feeling weak, just to revisit it and fill it with concrete. Because I’m not on the ground quite yet. We all know I’m getting through this fucking year.